Portions of this post, “The Struggle: Finding Therapists” originally were featured on my family blog, ‘lil Burghers. Many of you are following my wellness journey here so I wanted to be sure to share with you as well. To read the full original post, check out ‘lil Burghers.
(TW: Suicide / Mental Health)
Just Being Honest
Remember how 2019 is my year of courage. This one is really playing out as I eluded to when I told you that I was having some physical struggles back in June. In that post, I also shared that there was a mental/emotional side to it, too.
At that point, I was personally struggling with the fact that I wasn’t able to exercise (due to my health) and I was turning to bad foods. It was a time where I was letting my physical issues pile onto me mentally. Also, my cousin Emily died by suicide at the beginning of June (we miss you and love you, baby girl).
But even more, at that time of that post, I had no clue how much more was coming my way that summer. What happened next hit me out of the blue but I’m still not ready to talk about it here. For now, know that I’m happy to say that the tides that were rising are starting to recede and I’m working on getting the help I need.
Needing help? That’s not what a strong person does, is it? To be honest, admitting help is needed is exactly what I didn’t want to do. It made me feel so weak and vulnerable, but this summer it became so clear that getting help was what was necessary.
So yes, you heard me right. I’ve been hiding that all is okay and it’s not really okay around here but I am working on that, we are working on that to be fair (it’s not just my battle).
Those of you close to me know that on June 7, 2019, my 17-year-old cousin Emily died by suicide. Emily’s struggle is not something unfamiliar to our family – my side and Greg’s – or to me. She was struggling with mental health, something I did not realize was so hard to get help for. Even though I majored in Psychology as an undergrad, I had no clue that there weren’t enough people in the profession able to fill all of the needs…until I found myself desperately needing it.
Getting Help/Finding a Therapist
Later in June, the need for a therapist for myself and Greg became a “this is something we should do because we know it is good” to a must do (unrelated to losing Emily, but all still so raw and real).
My world crashed greater than I thought it could (please respect that I’m going to keep details private for now – it is not for secrecy but for healing). With what I feel is really good insurance (and an out of pocket max met thanks to my health issues), we tried for ten weeks to get a counselor and finally last week were able to make it happen.
TEN weeks. Ten weeks is a lifetime when you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, when you feel alone and ugly, when you feel desperate for the pain to just go away. This part of my story is that ten week is far too freaking long for someone to get licensed help and it is no surprise to me that our mental health issues are climbing, suicide is far too familiar, and the divorce rate is so high.
But ten weeks is what it took us to find a therapist and even then actually going to my first appointment took all I had. This shakes me and breaks me and makes me so sad for my young cousin (who I know was trying to get help), her family, our extended family, myself, and our world as a whole. Mental health help should not be so hard to come by!
How Do I Find the Help I Need?
My original post on this topic has a resource to a company that can help, or you can do like we did and reach out to your Insurance, family counseling or Christian counseling in your area, or asks friends who’ve opened up for their suggestions. Bottom line, you need to find the therapist who is right for you. Finding therapists can be tough, but not impossible.
- If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call 911 immediately.
- If you are in crisis or are experiencing difficult or suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255)
- If you’re uncomfortable talking on the phone, you can also text NAMI to 741-741 to be connected to a free, trained crisis counselor on the Crisis Text Line.