Finding My Identity: The Road Back to You

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As laid back as I was the last six months, you’d think that I’d have a whole pile of books to share thoughts about. One of those books, “The Road Back to You” had been on my radar since when things started to tumble back in June.

I truthfully just sunk back, watched way too much TV, played way too much “Township”, and spent time in the comparison trap reading other blogs and wishing mine could be at that level. Instead, I should have been reading and growing and not worrying about what others are doing and being the person God intended me to be.

I was stuck trying to find my identity! I know that sounds totally crazy, I should know at 36 years old who I am, especially as a Christian woman. Bottom line, I am a child of God, but I forgot that being that is enough. Instead, I was trying to figure out what I can bring readers of my websites, what tactics I could use in my Thirty-One business to grow it, and what God had in store for me with life in general…and I was doing it by just scrolling through pages and pages of what others had been blessed with.

Taking the Test

Not long after my life sort of came to a crashing halt physically and mentally, a friend suggested I take the Enneagram test. I searched online and found a free one (which if you haven’t done, I’ll let you do for yourself – I’m no expert and am not sure which site to suggest + you can pay for some if you want more detailed info). My results are pretty much right in line with who I *think* I am and weren’t really surprising.

…but I’m also not letting a number on the scale (whether it is a personality test or my weight) tell me who I am. John 1:12 and Jeremiah 1:5 tell me that. So the number tells me things I know, how I work with people, what stresses me, etc. And that is okay! Understanding yourself if perfectly fine (we’re actually charged to in I Corinthians 11:28-31). Changing yourself to align with a “number” you’d rather be? Not so much.

A Number…Now What?

Once I had my Enneagram number, I took my friend’s advice a little further and read a book she reccommended. There are a ton out there, but I opted to go with her reco because one of the authors is a pastor. In reading The Road Back to You, I dove into chapters on each of the nine personality types. As I read the words of each type, people close to me came to mind. Each chapter gave me gems on how to work alongside them and a little better understanding of how they’re “wired”.

Road Back to You

Did you know I have my degree in Psychology? Yup. So you’d think that I’d probably read this book and just be like “yeah, yeah, we know this”. The thing was, The Road Back to You brought me a fresh perspective with each word.

Interested in having a read yourself? Pick up a copy here and get it by the weekend.

And the hardest chapter to read? The chapter about me. I had been reading this book while on vacation in October (and even shared it in my “what I’m reading” post), but I just couldn’t get past the words about me. I didn’t feel convicted or lost or angry. I just didn’t feel and that didn’t sit well with me. It might have been my sign that it was time to get up and own the life that people with my number strive for because I simply wasn’t being that person and I knew it.

Crazy? Maybe a little, but so true. The words in “The Road Back to You” resonated with me from start to finish and helped me pull myself up off the couch away from the “at my worst” side and back into the “at my best” side of my number.

So What is Next?

I’m planning on checking out the associated Study Guide and possibly the companion book about relationships, “The Path Between Us”. And, as others in my personality type do, I’ve got goals set for the year (I’ve met some already) and will be working toward that more normal version of me. God’s loved me through the good days and the bad, but I wasn’t living up to what he designed me to be for the past few months. With a new year and a new decade just days old, I’m excited to dive headfirst into His plan (and share it with you, of course).

Have you read this book or taken the Enneagram? What are your thoughts?

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